I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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