I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
