just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
