So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize
