The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
