If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
