Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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