She said her name was "party"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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