the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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