well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
