tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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