And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
