You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
