I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
