we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
