Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I checked into jail on foursquare
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
