That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
