In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
