it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize