he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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