Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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