Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The adults are the big ones right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
