I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
