Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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