A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
