the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
NoShamevember. You game?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
