All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
