do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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