I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
