I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
