No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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