if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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