She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
