Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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