We're like a lot better than the average bears
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
