his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
