what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My penis needs a shock collar
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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