I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
