Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
