I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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