And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize