she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
