I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
