32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
