coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
