You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
