he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
