the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
