Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
