I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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