After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
