That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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