I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
