Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I want to be your penis for a week.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
