Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
