Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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