508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
