my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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