I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
